I ended up signing up for the Army National Guard to pay off my film school bills that were piling up on me. I returned from Ft. Benning as an Airborne Infantryman for the Governor of Illinois. I also did eventually marry, have kids and start an amazing career in the television business, but most importantly I received Jesus as my Lord and Savior. To discover that he was more than an energy source, to find out that He was a loving God, that I could actually have a deep personal relationship with was amazing to me.
Those first few years were years of absorbing the word of God, at church, at home and even better I ended up working for A Christian Television network and now I was getting spiritually fed eight hours a day five days a week; talk about being blessed with the Word.
As the years went by of course complacency set in. I moved up the ranks and went from a camera operator to a producer/director of all our television shows. I received Emmy nominations for best producer/director, making great money, wining and dining like there was no tomorrow. Of course without maintaining spiritual awareness the weeds of sin starting springing out within me . My spiritual life began to wean. My mind was absorbed in things that were ungodly, I found myself not really listening to the Word of God anymore, it just became a typical career, with typical church and typical prayer.
My Christian walk had somehow plummeted. How could it be? What was missing? Deep within myself I still remembered those days when I was practicing meditation and the profound effect it had on me spiritually. I knew exactly what Paul meant when he told us to walk in the spirit; I had experienced that and I wanted it back. So, I decided to go back and start the practice of meditation and integrate it into my Christian faith. The problem right off the bat was time. I sure didn’t have five or six hours a day to do meditation and now I was faced with all the teachings that were now evident to me and contrary to my Christian belief.
The idea of using chakras, the kabbalistic tree of life, or the kundalini serpent snake didn’t sit well with me. Also, to them God was not a personal God, he was an energy source of power and salvation camer through our own efforts and not as a gift from God.
Granted they consider that power to be love, but still it was very short to what the Bible declares He is. So, I knew that I had to take the practice of meditation and sift through it with the guidance of the Holy Spirit until it was exactly how God had intended it to be. For my research, I dug through tons of old books just like before and even though the internet was alive, it was still in its beginning stages at that time and really of no help. There were a few Christian mystics that I found, but looking at what they were teaching I knew that it wouldn’t be accepted by the Christian community. So I spent years trying to filter out all the bad stuff myself and put together a dynamic meditation program for myself.